What does it feel like...

when you see your husband again after a year? A friend who's husband had already returned came to our welcome home ceremony because, "New babies and homecoming ceremonies are my two favorite things." Yes, they came at 4 am - they're hardcore (and they were fortunate enough to have family in to stay with the kids). But what she said was true. I get all giddy feeling even when I go to a ceremony that doesn't involve my husband. I've been to my share of my own and other people's and wish it were something everyone could witness once.

The feelings start up a few weeks before they come home. You try not to get your hopes up TOO much in case of delay or, as some of you have experienced, extension. I've said I'll believe he's going when he's gone and I'll believe he's coming home when he's home. But in spite of yourself, you start thinking about it a few weeks before, mostly because life and plans go on. When he gets home.... By then he'll be home and he can help me.... I can't plan that because he may be home by then.... Oh! We can go do...because he'll be home by then.

The last week or so can be the worst, ranking right up there with the first week. It's so close but so far away! You can't rest for fear of being delayed until he is on that plane. Then you can't rest because you're too excited. Time drags. Everyone is just ready for it to be over. Emotions rage. The kids are nuts.

Then, all of sudden, you're there. You're getting dressed and wanting to look beautiful (no matter what time of day). You're wondering what you will do if your car doesn't start or someone gets sick. You're driving to the hangar or gym or airfield or wherever. You know by that they are super close - maybe even on the ground already. You're excited and nervous and relieved and triumphant and almost can't stand it. We made it! We survived! Whew, we made it. The nervousness is hard to describe. A little like a first date, except you really know your date and are already married. So it's not really a date. A little like your marriage day, you're happy about it but you know things are about to change in a way. It's a hard feeling to describe. Everyone has lived another year of their life and have been changed by it. There is an element of the unknown. But the nervousness only lasts a few minutes.

Finally you know they are there. They all start to come in and you're just hoping to pick yours out in the sea of uniforms. Finally! There he is! Does he see us? Yep, he does! Tears and laughter and a sigh of relief. It really is over. This time.