Taking Chance

Link to movie

First off let me say that those of you with husbands, wives, sons and daughters deployed or have been deployed or going to be deployed again get a free pass to bypass this post and this movie. We are already bearing the burden of loss this movie portrays.

When I first heard of this movie, I repeated a friend's sentiments, "Why would they make a movie like this?" "Taking Chance" is the true story of a Marine LTC who chose to escort the remains of a Marine private home to his family in 2004. I don't need to see this. But after hearing some good reviews (and getting my husband home from this round), we decided to watch it.

Wow. That's what I can say about it. This movie is extremely well made. It is very respectful of our servicemembers, offering no sensational scenes of war, nor any overly glorified scenes of death. It depicts them as real men and women who are all just doing the best they can. It's very real without being made too Hollywood. It will also rip your heart out. There was maybe three minutes of this whole movie that I wasn't crying. 12 hours later, I found myself crying over it again.

I feel very strongly that the death and burial of our servicemembers are private events for their families. They should be able to choose if the press and photos are allowed. Protestors should never be allowed. However, I am very grateful the Phelps family (ironic, huh?) chose to tell their son's story in this way. Because people need to know and feel it, even if it is only the time it takes to watch this movie.

*If you do watch this movie, note that in 2007 the procedure for transporting remains was changed. Servicemembers are no longer flown on commercial flights but are now flown by military transport or military contract planes. They are still escorted every step of the way.

A friend posted a link to a war widow's writing about Memorial Day and wishing people a "Happy Memorial Day". I challenge you to watch this movie and change how you think about Memorial Day. I think part of the reason its meaning is not considered by most is that this war does not touch most. Our military families have borne the brunt of the burden of the deaths. We pray for and cry over and mourn for soldiers we never even knew, because there but for the Grace of God, go I. We stop and listen when mentions are made on the news and are thinking through which people we know from that post or that unit who are in that place that might be the one of which they are speaking. We take notice of strange cars parked in front of our house. We do check the lists, praying we don't know the names on it but still feel like someone is kicking you in the stomach for each name read. But why are we the only ones? Everyone should feel the pain of every soldier, sailor, airman and marine lost.

Maybe those of us who know should share more stories. I have hundreds. The soldier who put his body over the Iraqi prisoners during a mortar attack because he had a flak vest and they didn't. He returned for a second tour and was killed. The CSM father whose PVT son was killed not long after arriving in country who had to be notified in Iraq and then board a plane for Germany to go tell his wife that their son was lost. The wife working in one place finding out the husband working in another has been killed. The father who missed his daughter's prom and graduation and going to college and then had to find out over there that she had been killed in a car wreck over here. The children who never met their fathers or the ones that were too young and will never remember them. The young couples who never had a chance to have children. The ones who come back with unseen wounds that later decide its too much to bear and take their own lives.

I'm not telling you not to enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. We're heading for the beach and are looking forward to it. I am asking you to consider. Consider this day. Consider all those who have given all for you. Consider a trip to the cemetery with your kids to pay respects to the veterans buried there. Consider why you would ever wish anyone a "Happy Memorial Day". Consider that widows are being made, some of them not even 20 years old. Consider that there is a group of children out there missing a parent for the rest of their lives. Consider that on that day someone is getting a notification or escorting a hero home or burying their son or daughter, husband or wife, father or mother. And remember them.