Seven Months

We passed the seven month mark last week. I can finally say we have less to go than we've done. Barely. But we still have to get through Christmas, New Year's, Gabby's seventh birthday, Valentine's Day, and my birthday (which we could forget) before we're close to his return. Yes, we have R&R coming up in less than three weeks but that's really just a short vacation in all this.

The emotions have been on a roller coaster this month. Finally past halfway (up), second half to go (down), R&R coming up (UP), it's gonna be hard to see him leave again (down), he sent us a box (up), the Internet (that we pay for) just doesn't seem to be working for him anymore (down), it's good when he calls (up), he's been gone so long we hardly know what to talk about any more (down).

Over half of Fort Lewis is deployed now between Iraq and Afghanistan. The unit in Afghanistan especially has been hit very hard with casualties. I don't think most people realize how many we have lost in Afghanistan in the last couple of years. It has gone up dramatically. I'm not even sure I realized it until I saw it first-hand.

Comparably, Robert is very safe where he is, stuck in a cell, I mean cube, in Baghdad. That makes a small part of me happy. But I know he's much rather be out there on the street doing his thing than sitting in a cube working on a computer. So mostly I am sad he's stuck where he is, which I know some of you can identify with and most of you probably think is crazy. But I have never thought he was meant to be stuck in an office all the time. When I picture a civilian job for him, I still don't see him sitting in an office. And there is that guilty part of me that knows I don't really have to worry about him this time. Only once this deployment have I looked out my window and seen someone sitting in a car in front of my house and gotten that feeling in the pit of my stomach. And it wasn't even my first thought that time.

So we're heading in to R&R in a few weeks, another whole spectrum of emotions. I have a lot to get done before he gets here. Christmas shopping, getting ready for our trip to WDW, being sure I have groceries for a Thanksgiving meal that will not be at Cracker Barrel this year. I worry about his travel being safe, him not getting delayed, our trip going well, everyone's health, not being about to get a flu shot. And I dread when he leaves again. For the kids, for the dog and for me. We told Gabby about it last week so she would understand it was just a vacation and that he was not coming home for good. She seems ok with it right now. She will not want him to leave. Sam is still too little to explain it to. It will be hard on my little man to understand. I do hope having Christmas coming up behind it will help distract us all and bring the spirits back up.

Seven months. We'll be at eight by the time R&R is up.